I planned to do an IGTV on this topic but realized writing it out would be the best way to fully gather my thoughts and get my feelings across. In the summer of last year I was feeling off… I couldn’t understand it myself, let alone explain it to anyone else, but something felt out of line. I think the feeling started in the winter, which isn’t a huge surprise. I’m a Florida girl, born and raised, so the whole getting dark early and freezing my ass off 24/7 thing got old quick! Mix that in with a few bad dates, jerky boys and some other friend stuff and there you have it… I was done. It wasn’t that I was done with DC, but I was just OVER IT. Do you guys feel me on that? Like sorry world, but you did me dirty a few times… and you did it while I’m already cold and the sun hasn’t shown it’s face in days and.. ugh I’m just out. Overall, a few shitty things lined up and that equated to me feeling stuck, annoyed and wanting some sort of change. I thought change would make the feeling of being over it go away, so naturally I picked the biggest change of all… a cross country move.
It was in the summer when I really mustered up all my annoyance and started considering the idea of living somewhere new. But where?! I made up a list ranging from Nashville, to Dallas, to moving back to FL and pretty much any big city in between. My lease was up in August and if you’re new around here then you may not know this, but at the time I was living with my brother, Riley. He and I had discussed going our separate ways for a while so it was inevitable that I was going to have to find a new place anyways. There wasn’t an apartment I was obsessed with or desperate for, so instead of half heartedly signing a lease somewhere in the city I settled on trying out California, Manhattan Beach to be more specific.
Cali had always been in the back of my head… along with a million and a half other people out there. Who wouldn’t want the weather, gorgeous people, amazing food and that LA vibe? My mom was born and raised in California, I still have tons of family there and a few friends so it wasn’t like I was going into this totally on my own. My aunt and uncle gave me the amazing opportunity to stay with them and test it out. I was fortunate enough to really make the move without an intense commitment, which made the whole thing a little less scary. I moved out there end of September and truly believed I wasn’t coming back to the east coast anytime soon.
The truth about LA:
Yes, the weather is THAT good. Yes, the people are THAT pretty! And yes, it’s a total scene of who’s who. I loveddd being by the beach, the workout scene, the fashion and the ability to explore all the cool cities within driving distance. The first thing everyone says when I tell them I moved back is, oh you didn’t like LA??? I get that look like… I’m sorry you were in California and CHOSE to come back to DC?… I know, crazy concept right!? Here’s the thing, the majority of my people and family are on the east coast. Flying back was such a chore and usually ate up an entire day. Seeing the people I did know in LA was such an effing hassle each and every time. One girl may live 12 miles away… but 12 miles can mean an hour and a half drive… each way! I’m not used to that. In DC my friends and I will call up at 5:30 pm and say hey let’s meet at this spot in 30. Easy peasy. I prefer to be able to get to people quicker and make plans more last minute. Seeing my friends in California took a lot of planning and effort, something I just wasn’t prepared for. Also, there’s the Lemon of it all. I travel tons and when I’m in DC I can fly back to Florida, drop her with my parents and head out. Logistically, everything was tougher in California.
Then there was the task of running my blog/ Instagram. It seems simple, like geez Madi don’t you just snap a picture on your phone, slap on a preset and call it a day? I wish it were that easy. I usually have to shoot during the day when lighting is good, move locations, get a few things shot at once and then be ready at any moment to take on a campaign with a quick turnaround. In DC I’ve made up a network of people who can help me and creatives to work with. I had family to help but realized it was going to be a huge task to rebuild a network like I had already established in DC. Also, I didn’t realize how DC had become my thing on IG and how followers loved my content infinitely more there. That’s important to me! One more thing, I’m not in a job that fluctuates salary based on location, so the cost of living was hard for me to wrap my brain around. I’m going to make the same amount whether I’m in BFE (bum fuck Egypt) or LA. Financially, it didn’t make tons of sense right now.
Here’s the MAIN thing I learned from my move… I’m not ready, and not wanting to, start over. I built a life in DC and completely took it for granted. DC has weirdly enough become my home in the last two and half years and it’s cheesy, but I truly didn’t know what I had until it was gone. I also love the city life more than I thought. I enjoy walking to my grocery store, workout, friends house and having a million food options in a five mile radius. Who would’ve ever thought this lil Florida girl would thrive in a cold city one day? Not I!
Moving back:
I’ve always been a person who isn’t afraid to say nope that wasn’t right and move on. I did it while trying out jobs after college, I do it with boys and I did it with this decision. In my opinion, life is too short to continue with something that isn’t a fit. Some things are long run plans and you push through, but with this there wasn’t a reason to stay any longer when I knew it wasn’t my fit. It also didn’t hurt that one of my friends in DC bought a brand new, gorgeous, house while I was away and offered to rent me a room and allow me to decorate one of the living rooms as my own. I mean… twist my arm. There was a moment where I worried I would get back and be just as unhappy as when I left, but luckily that didn’t happen. I moved back after NYE and immediately found my groove. I decorated my space to be super cozy, calming and put so much love into it that I knew would make me feel happier day to day. As much as I hate to admit it, I missed being so close to Riley. Through the past two years he and I got so close and it’s a relationship that has grown to mean SO much to me. Not to mention, he is one of the biggest helps with my job and truly I need every ounce of his help I can get. This definitely isn’t to say that I want to be in DC forever… eventually when I have a family one day I’d love to move somewhere warmer, possibly Florida, where I can have a yard and become a boring suburban mom… that is way way wayzzzzz away. Also, I doubt I’ll ever be boring, but ya know what I mean. For now, DC is my spot and who knows what comes next, I’m still just taking it all day by day.
